Creepy Boomer Joe Biden Apologizes for His Creepiness


WASHINGTON, DC-Former Vice President Joe Biden, notorious for his close-up hair sniffs, high waist grabs and uncomfortable embraces with women and children said he’s sorry.

You see, things are changing in America. It’s no longer acceptable for an old guy to get up close and invade somebody else’s personal space in a creepy manner and Joe realizes this now.

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He admits his generation, called “boomers” in a derogatory manner by most of his young socialist constituents, is a bit out of touch with today’s social norms.

“Social norms are changing,” Biden said. “I understand that, and I’ve heard what these women are saying. Politics to me has always been about making connections, but I will be more mindful about respecting personal space in the future. That’s my responsibility and I will meet it.”

Biden promised, going forward, he will not reach in for a close hair-sniff when posing with young girls and that when he grabs women from behind, he won’t give them a high-hip hold directly under their breasts.


President Donald Trump couldn’t resist sharing a meme that circulated after Biden’s apology video.

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“Welcome back, Joe!” the President wrote.

“I see that you are on the job and presidential, as always,” Biden replied.