In New Jersey, COVID-19 Spreads Through Honking Your Car Horn, Apparently

NEW JERSEY – Things are going from insane to bat shit crazy here in New Jersey after Governor Phil Murphy actually just made it a crime to drive past another person’s house and honking your car horn as you drive by, with windows closed to celebrate a special occasion.   Murphy’s crack team of researchers have concluded that the COVID-19 can pass through your body, exiting through your hands and transferring itself through your leather (or faux leather) steering wheel, through the horn’s electrical wires and transported, possibly amplified through the sound waves, infecting entire neighborhoods.

Wait it doesn’t work that way?  So why is Murphy banning this? Why is the top cop in the state warning that you can face criminal fines for doing it? Mostly because they say so.  For a guy who says science is driving the COVID-19 bus (off the cliff) in the Garden State, we fail to see the logic, let alone science in this latest draconian edict placed upon the peasant of New Jersey by Murphy.

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Here’s how it happened: Car Parades Banned in NJ

Murphy’s Department of Education tried to back door a New Jersey community into telling its students to stop the practice.  The local police, said, “ya, nah.” They even suggested they’ll turn a blind eye to those celebrations as long as common sense is being used.


Comrade Murphy would have none of it and amended his executive order to explicitly ban the practice for those who didn’t hear him the first time.  Murphy also told his subjects, “Don’t get cheeky and plan graduation parties either.

Can I have a graduation party in NJ for class of 2020?

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Well, most of the internet in New Jersey cried, “Fake News”.  There’s no way we’re going that far off the deep end here.  So, Murphy told his enforcement wing, the New Jersey State Police to make sure his word is loud and clear, “There will be no celebrations of any kind for the class of 2020.

And that’s how we got to where we are today.