Shark Alert: All pizza reviews are 7’s, Everyone knows the rules


NEW YORK, NY – Pizza review guy Dave Portnoy defended himself against criticism by his fans and worst enemies who claim the once brutally honest reviews have gone soft. Portnoy seemingly hasn’t given a score below 7, which is high on his scale since he came out of quarantine last year and began helping small businesses.

Often, Portnoy explains that as businesses reopen, he’s reluctant to give pizzerias low scores, even when the pies he’s reviewed have been soggy flops, oil slicks, and just plain hideous.

So, he traveled back to New York to dish out a 6.4 review to Manhattan’s Siena Pizza, which arguably looked better than some of the 7’s he gave out while in Florida last week.

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“I’m back in New York and by the way, people say I’m given too high of scores in other cities,” Portnoy fired back at his detractors and trollers. “Do the math. Connect the dots put the strings up there, CSI style….6.4. I still have a hard scale. I still have a hard scale, that’s a review.”

In recent week’s Portnoy has also been disenfranchising his loyal base by including TikTok stars to grow his audience into that market, even created what many feel was a fake and staged interruption in Florida by the “What do you do for a living” kid on Tik Tok.

Has One Bite, as they used to say “Jumped the Shark”? Let us know in the comments below.

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