Star-Ledger Editorial Says Constitution Was Written by Dirty People Who Believed in Witchcraft

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2 mins read

NEWARK, NJ – Leave it to the liberal media to throw down against America’s Second Amendment to the Constitution by saying the document was written by a bunch of ignorant colonials who believed in witchcraft, seldom bathed, and didn’t believe in travel over 25 miles per hour.

Which means we need to trash the second amendment.

“The Second Amendment was ratified in 1791. In 1791, people still widely believed in witchcraft, bathed several times a year, and thought that if a human being were ever to exceed 25 miles per hour via horse or carriage they would surely perish. The Second Amendment may have made sense back then, it doesn’t today. The founders could not have possibly imagined the AR-15,” wrote Drew Sheneman, the paper’s sometimes funny cartoon guy who is still inserting former President Donald Trump in at least every other cartoon these days.

Sheneman reminded the paper’s readers the Constitution is 231 years old…and should be treated as such.

We wonder if Sheneman ever actually rode a horse over 25 miles per hour and to be honest, Trump Derangement Syndrome is today’s modern version of witchcraft, except that it’s real.

He claims the founding fathers could not have possibly imagined the AR-15. Not at all, they only loaded up cannons with chain shot and grapeshot to mow down lines of British infantrymen.

As for the bathing rituals, sure many people only bathed a few times a year, but many of the country’s more affluent founding fathers bathed regularly.

As Joe and Kamala say, “Just Google it.”

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You can find pages like this one, that detail the bathing habits of our founding fathers. Imagine in 200 years, a descendent of this writer saying 21st-century simpletons believed a cloth mask could stop a microscopic pathogen.


You can read the full diatribe here.