Pizza review time! If you know anything about Dave Portnoy, aka the pizza kingpin of the internet, you know he’s got some strong opinions about pizza. And he’s not afraid to drop some—literally! In his latest review, Dave visits Nino’s Coal Fire Pizza in Brick Township, where the pizza was so light it practically floated out of his hands.
Here’s the play-by-play of what went down:
Right from the jump, Dave’s eyes lit up like a kid on Christmas morning when he noticed how feather-light the pizza box was. “Whenever a box is this light, my hopes go through the roof!” he exclaims. For Dave, light pizza equals high-quality pizza, and his excitement was palpable.
But just as he’s about to dive in, the pizza decides it’s had enough and takes a tumble. In the middle of his review, while marveling at the pizza’s weightlessness, it slips from his grip and hits the ground. “I wish I could blame it on something, but there’s no wind—I just dropped it,” Dave admits with a hint of embarrassment. Hey, even the pros have off days, right?
Undeterred by the mishap, Dave picks up the pizza and goes in for a bite—because #OneBiteEverybodyKnowsTheRules.
Despite the slight flop, the taste still shines through. Dave notes that it’s good but wishes it had a bit more crunch.
He compares it to a distant relative of John’s of Bleecker Street, his all-time favorite coal-fired pizza spot, but mentions it falls just a bit short on the crispiness scale.
Even with the accidental floor-taste test, Dave gives Nino a respectable score of 7.4. Not bad at all! But like any great athlete, Dave doesn’t let one mistake ruin his whole game—he shakes it off and moves on to the next play, hopefully at the Jersey Shore.
We think Nino’s is better than a 7.4, maybe in high 7, low 8 territory, but in this review, Dave was visibly rattled by the opening kick fumble, and it showed.
